April 29, 2009
Why Marriage Problems Can Bring You To Divorce Mediation
Divorce mediation almost sounds good, like a smooth transition from being married, to a new life without the drama of marriage problems. It sounds like a very humane and civilized way for a couple to take the sophisticated, gentle approach towards creating devastation and a lifetime of pretending everything is fine.
In reality, divorce mediation is nothing like what it sounds like. I know; I was a divorce mediator.
Marriage problems are rampant in most marriages; that is an unfortunate fact. And because our society is so uneducated in the area of marriage, most couples go from bad to worse in their marriage until they finally decide to end the suffering by getting a divorce.
What if a Good Marriage was Easier than you Believe? Would you still Want a Divorce?
The couples who came to see me were, by and large, those who had no place else to go; it was either my office or the divorce courts. They came from all walks of life; from Hollywood big-shots to county referrals. My promise to them all was that they would see for themselves how simple marriage can be; all they had to do was try the systems of belief I espoused and the techniques I suggested.
The beliefs I taught are simple and straightforward:
Marriage is meant to be joyous
Love never goes away; but it gets hidden
Anyone can have a good marriage when they know the rules
Men and women can be understood by each other
Behaving rightfully produces right results
Techniques that I taught were only used in the very beginning of their process. They were techniques designed to break through the encrusted habits that had formed around each spouse. It can be difficult to shatter the habitual walls of mistrust and antagonism without utilization of proper techniques. But with the techniques, the years old habits were shattered once and for all. All that was left was the love that flowed between two sincere souls. With their newfound knowledge they were able to build upon the love they had and enjoy the marriage they so desperately wanted.
Marriage problems were no longer a consideration for couples who learned the dynamic structure of marriage. Divorce mediation would no longer ever be considered by two people who only wanted a loving and harmonious marriage.
Everyone deserves the blessings that come with a happy marriage. Everyone is capable of having the most extraordinary marriage imaginable. Marriage is not a psychological or civil union. It is a union between two souls and it is essentially spiritual by nature.
This does not mean there must necessarily be religious precepts guiding a marriage. Religious teachings can be helpful to a marriage if they are based on solid spiritual principles. A couple must understand the core values of friendship, mutual service and unconditional love; the spiritual principles vital to a joyous marriage. Couples who rely upon these principles are met with an ever-expanding and always fulfilling relationship.
I am gladdened by the new awakenings inspire couples to reinvest energy in their family's security. Children who are raised in intact families are so much better off than their counterparts who come from broken homes. Your own children will benefit too when you and your spouse move beyond the fear of marriage problems by understanding marriage as it is meant to be.
By: Paul Friedman
In reality, divorce mediation is nothing like what it sounds like. I know; I was a divorce mediator.
Marriage problems are rampant in most marriages; that is an unfortunate fact. And because our society is so uneducated in the area of marriage, most couples go from bad to worse in their marriage until they finally decide to end the suffering by getting a divorce.
What if a Good Marriage was Easier than you Believe? Would you still Want a Divorce?
The couples who came to see me were, by and large, those who had no place else to go; it was either my office or the divorce courts. They came from all walks of life; from Hollywood big-shots to county referrals. My promise to them all was that they would see for themselves how simple marriage can be; all they had to do was try the systems of belief I espoused and the techniques I suggested.
The beliefs I taught are simple and straightforward:
Marriage is meant to be joyous
Love never goes away; but it gets hidden
Anyone can have a good marriage when they know the rules
Men and women can be understood by each other
Behaving rightfully produces right results
Techniques that I taught were only used in the very beginning of their process. They were techniques designed to break through the encrusted habits that had formed around each spouse. It can be difficult to shatter the habitual walls of mistrust and antagonism without utilization of proper techniques. But with the techniques, the years old habits were shattered once and for all. All that was left was the love that flowed between two sincere souls. With their newfound knowledge they were able to build upon the love they had and enjoy the marriage they so desperately wanted.
Marriage problems were no longer a consideration for couples who learned the dynamic structure of marriage. Divorce mediation would no longer ever be considered by two people who only wanted a loving and harmonious marriage.
Everyone deserves the blessings that come with a happy marriage. Everyone is capable of having the most extraordinary marriage imaginable. Marriage is not a psychological or civil union. It is a union between two souls and it is essentially spiritual by nature.
This does not mean there must necessarily be religious precepts guiding a marriage. Religious teachings can be helpful to a marriage if they are based on solid spiritual principles. A couple must understand the core values of friendship, mutual service and unconditional love; the spiritual principles vital to a joyous marriage. Couples who rely upon these principles are met with an ever-expanding and always fulfilling relationship.
I am gladdened by the new awakenings inspire couples to reinvest energy in their family's security. Children who are raised in intact families are so much better off than their counterparts who come from broken homes. Your own children will benefit too when you and your spouse move beyond the fear of marriage problems by understanding marriage as it is meant to be.
By: Paul Friedman
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About the Author:
I wrote Lessons For A Happy Marriage: http://lessonsforahappymarriage.com to save marriage relationships from the marriage crisis in our country; it's about saving children. Let's stop divorce. The problems go beyond the failures of marriage counselors. My life's mission is to eradicate the need for divorce through focused education. If you are married, please tell your soul mate, "I love you."
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