March 11, 2009
Marriage Advice – 4 Simple Ways to Regain a Happy Marriage
You may be struggling to get back that happiness you and your spouse once shared. You have tried so many things but nothing seems to change. There are several things you can do, but for the sake of time we will look at four very important areas in your marriage, that if you improve, can make a hugh difference for years to come.
Companionship
Marriage is such a beautiful gift from God but too often we take it for granted. The first year and for some the first months of marriage, you cherished the companionship you shared with your spouse.
It felt great knowing you were going home to someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. But for some, this feeling eventually changes. They no longer look forward to seeing their husband and he is experiencing the same feelings or just feel hurt and neglected.
This may happen because you have allowed the pressures of life to drown out what was once extremely special. Your spouse is no longer your best friend.
The first step in regaining a happy marriage is recapturing that companionship you once shared. You need to love and look forward to spending times with each other. You need to see the importance of those times and cherish every moment.
If both of you have become distant; you may need to address the problem and make some changes. Sometimes couples lose this sense of companionship because they find themselves doing and enjoying totally different activities. Think of some things you can do together. Things you both enjoy.
Acceptance
A spouse who experiences rejection can become extremely unhappy and depressed. You may subconsciously reject your spouse or even consciously do it just to punish them for something they did.
What ever the reason, this is one area that hurts every marriage and has led to separations and divorce.
Some couples think it is the huge things that destroy a marriage, but it is actually the daily small things that you allow to slide.
Although you and your spouse may have many differences, you need to accept him or her for who they are. Too often I find that the wives are guilty of wanting to change their husbands.
There is a saying that: The wife marries the husband hoping that he will change and he does not. While the husband marries the wife hoping she will not change but she does. If you are guilty of wanting to turn your spouse into your ideal husband or wife, you may go over board and actually push them away.
Support
We have found that many marriages that fall apart did so because of an unsupportive spouse. If they want to do a particular thing that would benefit the family, they receive oppositions from every angle.
They never feel like their suggestions or decisions are worth anything in the eyes of their spouse. They may resort to seeking support from others outside their marriage. Very soon their spouse is complaining that they are having an emotional affair.
While emotional affairs are definitely inexcusable, a difficult and uncooperative spouse is also inexcusable.
No Need to Be a Super Hero
In the same way we need to support our spouses, we also need to accept support from them. Some individuals think they need to be super heroes in their marriage. They try to do everything on their own causing their partner to feel rejected.
Everything around the house is done by then. However, when things become overwhelming, that is the time they cry that their spouse is lazy and selfish but in truth they did not give them a chance to help. This is especially true for individuals who were independent for many years before marriage. Now that they are married it is extremely difficult for them to depend on their spouse in anyway.
Remember, marriage is about giving and taking; 50/50 not 80/20 or 20/80.
Closing Questions
I will close this article with four questions for you to consider:
Do I consider my spouse as my best friend?
Do I constantly criticize my spouse?
Do I support my spouse's ideas or do I usually find a reason why they will not work?
Do I come across as superman or superwoman in my marriage?
Do you want to regain that happiness and intimacy you once shared with your spouse? Life is too short to spend it wishing you had a happy and steaming hot marriage when you can do something about it.
Get your FREE Marriage Ecourse and Vdeo Book at: http://www.marriagethermometer.com
By: Mark & Lesia Gregory
About the Author:
Companionship
Marriage is such a beautiful gift from God but too often we take it for granted. The first year and for some the first months of marriage, you cherished the companionship you shared with your spouse.
It felt great knowing you were going home to someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. But for some, this feeling eventually changes. They no longer look forward to seeing their husband and he is experiencing the same feelings or just feel hurt and neglected.
This may happen because you have allowed the pressures of life to drown out what was once extremely special. Your spouse is no longer your best friend.
The first step in regaining a happy marriage is recapturing that companionship you once shared. You need to love and look forward to spending times with each other. You need to see the importance of those times and cherish every moment.
If both of you have become distant; you may need to address the problem and make some changes. Sometimes couples lose this sense of companionship because they find themselves doing and enjoying totally different activities. Think of some things you can do together. Things you both enjoy.
Acceptance
A spouse who experiences rejection can become extremely unhappy and depressed. You may subconsciously reject your spouse or even consciously do it just to punish them for something they did.
What ever the reason, this is one area that hurts every marriage and has led to separations and divorce.
Some couples think it is the huge things that destroy a marriage, but it is actually the daily small things that you allow to slide.
Although you and your spouse may have many differences, you need to accept him or her for who they are. Too often I find that the wives are guilty of wanting to change their husbands.
There is a saying that: The wife marries the husband hoping that he will change and he does not. While the husband marries the wife hoping she will not change but she does. If you are guilty of wanting to turn your spouse into your ideal husband or wife, you may go over board and actually push them away.
Support
We have found that many marriages that fall apart did so because of an unsupportive spouse. If they want to do a particular thing that would benefit the family, they receive oppositions from every angle.
They never feel like their suggestions or decisions are worth anything in the eyes of their spouse. They may resort to seeking support from others outside their marriage. Very soon their spouse is complaining that they are having an emotional affair.
While emotional affairs are definitely inexcusable, a difficult and uncooperative spouse is also inexcusable.
No Need to Be a Super Hero
In the same way we need to support our spouses, we also need to accept support from them. Some individuals think they need to be super heroes in their marriage. They try to do everything on their own causing their partner to feel rejected.
Everything around the house is done by then. However, when things become overwhelming, that is the time they cry that their spouse is lazy and selfish but in truth they did not give them a chance to help. This is especially true for individuals who were independent for many years before marriage. Now that they are married it is extremely difficult for them to depend on their spouse in anyway.
Remember, marriage is about giving and taking; 50/50 not 80/20 or 20/80.
Closing Questions
I will close this article with four questions for you to consider:
Do I consider my spouse as my best friend?
Do I constantly criticize my spouse?
Do I support my spouse's ideas or do I usually find a reason why they will not work?
Do I come across as superman or superwoman in my marriage?
Do you want to regain that happiness and intimacy you once shared with your spouse? Life is too short to spend it wishing you had a happy and steaming hot marriage when you can do something about it.
Get your FREE Marriage Ecourse and Vdeo Book at: http://www.marriagethermometer.com
By: Mark & Lesia Gregory
About the Author:
Mark and Lesia Gregory are Marriage Counselors & Wedding Planners with over 10 years of experience. What started as a passion to make a difference in people's lives and marriages quickly took a turn to become a professional marriage counseling team.
They are the authors and fouders of the Marriage Thermometer Principles, a marriage therapy solution which begins with couples using their uniquely engineered Marriage Thermometer Software to determine the temperature of their marriage. Couples can then proceed to using the Marriage Thermometer eBooks, Audio, Econsultations and other Resources that relate to infidelity, improving your sex life, respect, communication, unhappy marriages and much more.
They are also dedicated Christians for over 26 years combined and attend the Kingston Church of Christ where they met each other, fell in love and got married.
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